Struggles with change

Here I am beyond midnight again just starting my ‘homework’. It continues to amaze me my ability of self defeating procrastination. After hours spent on other things, some important, most not… I sit with a cold cup of Joe realizing I’ll likely hurry through tonight’s homework once again.

You see, I’ve not been one to talk about it too much… what I’ve been focused on for two years. Mostly due to assumptions that others don’t care (hey that’s a good blog title) but also because I want to let the evidence of my actions reflect my work rather than my talk. Here on the most-public-of-all-public-places I’ve also been sensitive that some of the coursework I am studying under is copyrighted and can’t be of much public discussion.

Most, if any of my friends and family do not realize the amount of effort my wife and I have put into changing our life mindset, plans, and goals since 2003. We continue to increase our fever and effort in the simple task of changing our mind’s blueprint and actions to be that of a wealthy or rich person rather than our previous state of mind (the typical middle-classer).

As the books says it’s not been easy; and even just what we’ve done so far is hard enough to describe to someone that we don’t bother. We are doing things with our finances, our discipline, and our lives that no one we know is doing… which makes all this extremely hard. I know that we’re actually following the path of our virtual mentors such as Robert T. Kiyosaki, Dr. Dolf de Roos, Mark Fisher, and of course Mr. Williams; but with not one person to talk to who has done this ‘mindset transformation’ and become truly free, we feel like we’re clearing our own path through the Amazon.

So we have this no quit clause. Which at times has been all that keeps us pursuing our dream: to be independently wealthy within five years so that we won’t have to work for a living wage and become truly free, so that each day can be lived exactly how we choose it to be.

Since I didn’t document any expectations three years ago I’m not sure that I expected this journey to be different then it is. Yet today, as I sit here finishing this post in an attempt to document my emotions (I’m much more a typer then a writer… one of my weaknesses I’m fighting) I realize that I’m not moving fast enough toward the goal. As much as we accomplish weekly, I still feel as if I have never truly challenged myself.